So last night a guy asked when I was going to start baking for him, because well naturally this is what you do why haven’t I gotten any? Now this in no way is an attempt to bash on the guy, he didn’t know what he was asking and that is what my real point is going to be. Context matters and everyone has one.
Now I am sure you have heard people say it before that you really never know what is going on with a person, and this is so true, and sad in some cases. But when is it that we switch from just trying to be nice to a person because they are a fellow human being to actually caring about the matriculation of events creating the hodge podge of the person you are knowing now? Is it when we meet some one and just somehow feel a connection with that new stranger? Is it when you learn something personal and potentially detrimental to them as an individual? Is it after you have spent years getting to know them and seeing them through the madness that is everyday life?
I am the kind of person when asked to do more I also hear you aren’t doing enough. Literally the words play right alongside the request. Most people do not get that about me. Most people don’t care. Most people definitely don’t get it. The sad fact of the matter is that only on occasion do girls get what I mean and even rarer do guys. Maybe more people get it than let one but that is part of my point isn’t it? When do you let someone in enough to share who you are with them? When do you let someone in enough to tell them hey you cannot just ask me to do something I do on rare occasions? When do you let someone in enough to tell them that you are asking for something because you are lonely and desperate for someone to engage with?
Even more than that when do you learn to say no? At what point do you care enough about yourself to be honest with something to protect yourself? When do you wake up and think it is ok to be honest enough to say this thing you are asking for isn’t going to happen because it costs me too much. How do we learn enough about ourselves to know when to say no? How do we learn enough about someone else to know how to say no? How do when learn to care about someone beyond just the fact that they are human beings who breathe and have their own stories? How do we pick who we bake for and who we just let figure out how to pre-heat an oven on their own? Is it based on our need or theirs? When it is theirs is it really our own selfishness to be needed that we are feeding? When is caring really altruistic?
